The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
A+ Viking dick
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
