My room smells like vodka and shame
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
