big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i think i have two assholes
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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