I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
