hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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