If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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