He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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