she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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