Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
