Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
