I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
