ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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