my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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