Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
