Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So much rum. So many feels.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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