the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
