He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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