Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
COCAINE IS GR8
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
