Pappa wants mamma naked
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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