Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
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Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
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We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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