Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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