I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
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It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
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She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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