don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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