He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
