Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
