apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
