I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
