she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize