How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
