i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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