you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
