people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
