I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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