I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
