and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize