Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
