I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
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I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
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So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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