Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
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Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.