Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I could tell my life story through kermit memes