i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.