end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
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Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.