Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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