I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
