Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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