I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
