Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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