so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
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He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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