bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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