you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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