You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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