3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
