At least make sure they are 18
Why
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
