tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
