hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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