R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
