wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
