hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
