I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
